A Postcard From Peru

One School of Trout, A Gallon of Piscos and Kilo of Quinoa Later

Peru pulls out all sorts of travelers but for the Shirley MacLaine set and those seeking reinvention and clarity through the all-natural psychoactive journey of ayahuasca, it’s the motherland. Come Solstice, the equinox encourages a woo-woo pandemonium as the sun cosmically beams through the Temple of the Sun just so. We saw a few barefoot believers at the ready and a mobile tarot card reader ready to cast fortune at the gates of the Inca Rail line to Machu Picchu.

The magnitude of Machu is trippy enough as is. Even the hummingbirds are 10 times larger than normal with a wingspan of 21.5 cm versus our micro-sized hummers that measure in at 8 to 11 cm.

Everything began to seem super-sized in Peru from the fever pitch of Cusco’s festivals to the suspension bridges that loosely connect eight observation platforms in the Peruvian Amazon at the Inkaterra Canopy Walkway. I’d say the 90 foot platforms offered a bird’s-eye view but it was more like the bird’s head view from above. And, when inching along the boards slippery with fungi and bracken, it’s difficult to look for jacamars when all you can see is the gaps between the sun and weather-worn steps.

Moving from trend-on Lima to the squelchy, rubber-boots-required Amazon to the cradle of the Sacred Valley to Cusco’s cobbles chaos was a big bounce between menus, landscapes, soundtracks and vibes.

BREAKING NEWS: FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, WE DID NOT HEAR CELINE DION ONCE!

Instead, it was a consistently snappy mixtape of Laura Branigan, A-ha, Cyndi Lauper, the Thompson Twins, 4 Non Blondes, Rick Astley and Tina Turner. When North America shifted to CDs, the surplus of cassette tapes were sent to Chile and Peru which explains the country's affection for the best era of music ever.

In Cusco, architecture from the 1500s constantly collides with Irish pubs, cat cafes, Starbucks, KFC, Yoda figurines draped in Andean shawls, llama-everything and guinea pig entrees.

Lima was even easier to sink into with its endless coastal path and parade of dog breeds (all fancifully clothed), uber fit runners, surfers catching mad curls and profusion of grape morning glories.

It also proved to be the best urban birding hotspot ever. Our day was easily occupied chasing hummingbirds and vermillion flycatchers to the right and surfers to the left.

The open-air markets of both cities burst with edible flowers, quail eggs, purple cobs of corn, dried peaches and baseball-sized beets. Gelateria's tempted ice cream lovers with plum, ginger, purple yam, cheese and spicy pepper ice cream scoops. At the Museo de la Miel, Kim and I tried the local mead, avocado and cacao honey that was as black as motor oil.

Let’s not forget that this is serious quinoa country and we ate over a kilo of it each. I had no idea I loved quinoa so much—and we tried every possible twist. Beet + quinoa hummus, quinoa brochettes, quinoa croquettes, quinoa burgs (see the Fred Flintstone Brontosaurus-worthy burger below), quinoa-crusted sea bass, quinoa-dusted chicken, quinoa chowder and even, quinoa beer. It’s a dashing crop with clustered tops that ignite the Sacred Valley in rusts, purples, fire orange and mustard yellow swatches.

I also discovered a deep appreciation for trout and admittedly ate a school of them. From rainbow trout ceviche to mango trout sushi to farina-dusted trout, I had it steamed, fried, baked and folded into a tight bundle of a local banana-like leaf.

In between? It was a rotating line-up of pisco sours: tart passionfruit, the foamy classic with frothed egg whites, Chilcano (with ginger ale, lime and bitters) and the very best fusion: a pisco mule with just enough ginger to elicit a cough with each sip.

While Lima belonged to cats, Cusco has certainly gone to the dogs! In Kennedy Park (Miraflores, Lima), the number of prowling cats is Hemingway-level and locals adore them. They were originally introduced to exterminate the rat population (and they did that swiftly) but then the rat problem soon became a cat problem. The park has several cute cat condos (that are fully taken advantage of) and volunteers feed the felines each day---if you linger long enough, you'll easily find a purring cat in your lap.

In Cusco, dogs are free range and more than 70% (not an official number, just my wild guess) are wearing jackets, camo wear, overalls, pink pajamas or some sort of flannel gear. We have never seen so many dogs in outfits–right down to the the hairless Peruvian. It was colder than we anticipated everywhere (it is the Winter Solstice in Peru right now!) and I was tempted to pinch a hooded puffa jacket off a dog of similar frame.

If I were to cram more into this Peru postcard I’d go on about the leaf-cutter ants, red howler monkeys and hoatzins. We saw several caimans, walking sticks, a furry jungle fungi that surreptitiously paralyzes its insect victims with toxins, hairy ground tarantulas, patient and ravenous golden orb and funnel-web spiders AND a prehensile porcupine, the true star of the show. The nocturnal nirvana of the Amazon is not for the skittish (or screamers).

Peru was a big surprise. If you’ve been following along here you will recall that 15 years ago, a palm reader told me that all my answers were in Peru. I failed to arrive with any questions and contentedly left without any epiphanies. I was properly introduced to trout and quinoa and that’s enlightenment enough.

After our last experience in the Philippines and Vietnam this spring (insert frozen vehicle sensors at our airport hotel pre-trip, the Delta crash at YYZ disrupting flights for days and $5,000 in fraudulent charges from a Hanoi hotel), Peru was a pure treat from the birds to the burgers to the beer and the street art that coloured the walls in dream sequences along our agenda-less walks in between.

What destination in the world has surprised you lately? Have you been to Peru? What would your biggest attraction be? Lima’s hot foodie scene? The Amazon’s supersized flora and fauna? Cusco’s Incan tap roots? Or simply the llamas, punchy piscos and a really good roam?