48 Hours in Zurich

A bite of grasshopper tacos, high divers and highballs

Switzerland is synonymous with a dozen things from fondue to Roger Federer. We love-love him, don’t we? Let’s not forget Lindt chocolate, Einstein, Edelweiss and Tina Turner’s $76M Lake Zurich estate.

My earliest Swiss memories stem from Heidi and Saturday morning cartoons—those droopy-eyed St. Bernard alpine rescue dogs with barrels of grog around their necks were as reliably life-saving as the accompanying bowl of Lucky Charms in my lap. Swiss Family Robinson ended up being a total adult lunch bag letdown. The grainy TV series was actually filmed in Kleinberg, Ontario and Jamaica!

The Matterhorn was the first ride that my sister and I would want to blow all our tickets on at the fall fair. It was also the thrill ride voted most likely to lose our still-digesting pogo stick on. You had to be 48” tall, so the mighty Matterhorn involved great anticipation between siblings (and growth spurts) for my kid brother, Dax. I don’t think I realized then that it was actually a real world mountain peak that I would one day stand in the face of.

This is the Matterhorn looming in the background—-wildly different from my childhood amusement park associations!

In my pre-teens, I was deeply connected to Switzerland by my beloved Swiss Swatch “Cosmic Encounter.” That 1986 Haley’s Comet edition now retails for $180US on Etsy. Wish I still had that one!

I also had a Swiss Army knife that involved immediate Band-aid treatment shortly after opening. Cue up Sheryl Crow’s honeyed version of “The First Cut is the Deepest” (written by Cat Stevens!) The original “officer’s and sports  knife” was created for the Swiss Army (yes, it took me a beat to connect the name with history). I was at the height of my tomboy powers with such Swiss technology on my wrist and in my pocket. I had a secret screwdriver, awl, can opener and corkscrew at the ready! Admittedly the awl saw little use.

Kim with our guide, Sabina, on a tense 16km hike down to that little train set village through Trift and back onto the semi-level ground in Zermatt.

Last August, Kim and I decided to bookend a work-related hiking trek through the Bernese Alps with a few days in Zurich. Two days to be precise, and I quickly found a lot to jam in.

I fell into a rabbit hole of research, bouncing from Shania Twain’s not-so-secret sanctuary on Lake Geneva to learning that Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein while staying on that same lake in 1816. The trivia junkie in me soon filled endless pieces of scrap paper with notes about the longest toboggan run in Europe (15km from the top of Faulhorn to the village of Grindelwald!), Einstein beer, bearded vultures, an annual onion fair, alpine cow parade and the story behind the hidden bear on the side of the chocolate mountain that is the Toblerone bar. I was ready for Jeopardy. “I’ll take Switzerland’s Secrets for $10,000, Alex!”

Touchdown: Zurich

We shook off our overnight flight fog and ignored the magnetic pull of the bed in our room at 25hours as we only had 48 hours to take the city in. Kim was already doing inventory on the mini bar fridge stocked with free indie beers, Fritz colas and fun-size chocolate bars. I was busy reading the Tel Aviv-inspired menu for the on-site resto. Think curry mango hummus and charcoal grilled cauliflower with har bracha tahini and pomegranate chimichurri.

Our “amenities’ included poker visors, matchbook RUN BABY RUN maps of urban jogging routes, pin-up girl books, kinky pillows, a Polaroid camera, a Freitag courier bag and custom DO NOT DISTURB signs.

Our hotel had arcade games, pinball machines, a photo booth, a rooftop sauna and complimentary Mini Coopers for guest use. For those thin on funds but ready to barter, 25hours has a pawn shop which permits payment through the donation of items, artwork or stolen bowling pins. This hotel will plant two trees if you say no to housekeeping for three nights in a row.

The hotel’s Cinchona bar decor was an agreeable mix of Mastodons, mini foozball tables, jellyfish made out of broken champagne glasses, vintage boxing gloves, pinned butterflies, taxidermy, succulents and Castrol barrel planters with a live DJ station amongst the curio.

I LOVED 25hours and would have been quite content to hole up there, John and Yoko style. Pro tip: NEVER sit or lie down after an overnight flight. Keep upright for as long as possible. Resist the bed and poker visors!

Things Quickly Learned in 48 Hours

1. Every street name is 28 letters long.

2. We were going to miss out on seeing Stadtische Sukkulletten Sammlung which is the biggest succulent and cacti collection in Europe because the wood-fired pizza guy at the semi-nearby lakeside resto needed a break. For one hour! What happened to the Swiss being so timely? Luckily the picante salami, basil and fior de latte pizza was amazing. Bonus points for the menu which was a spoof of a racy Playboy cover. Non bonus points for the succulent greenhouses which were shuttered in anticipation of the mammoth Street Parade that was about to swallow up the city with thousands of techno and electronic music fans.

Refueled, we continued our figure 8 walk around Zurich observing that the Swiss love to picnic and tan en masse. There’s a natural gravitation to the parks and rivers with little real estate left around the lake’s basin on sun-squeezed days.

From the Bürkliplatz (boat dock) you can jump on a hop-on, hop-off boat around Lake Zurich. Kim and I had already planned to leap off at Ufnau Island where a hyperlocal winery is located. The former monastery grounds are serene to the extreme—the winery patio is shaded by century-old sycamores with arms so huge that they are supported with wooden crutches to brace them.

We ordered inselplatti, trackenfleisch und wurste von der metzgerel walhalla aus einsidedeln, mit allem drum und dran mit der mich manufacktur einsiedden and hoped for the best. There were no English menus and all of the above ended up being a perfect, surprise charcuterie board—-though the accompanying baguette required donkey teeth.

We selected two glasses mystery wine that tasted like prosecco’s bubbly pink cousin before taking a meandering natureweg (nature walk) to see the isle’s art installations and returning to the city with half of our charcuterie board bound in serviettes.

Grasshopper Tacos, High Divers and Highballs

That night, we had hoped to visit the Urania Observatory and Jules Verne Panorama Bar but learned that the observatory was long sold-out and was a German-only presentation to boot. The Jules Verne bar was “closed for holidays.” A kind staffer informed us that we could come the following at night for the 7 p.m. English presentation. FYI: At 7 o’clock the sun is the biggest, blinding star out there so we passed on his offer and opted for five-star grasshopper tacos instead.

Shortcutting along a dodgy street that fringed the red light district to Badenerstrasse we easily found La Taqueira. Cautiously, we ordered two insect tacos and two chicken to-go in case the grasshoppers were floppers. Tasting notes: oddly, like corn nuts but with a molar-friendly crunch that paired nicely with the squeak of Oaxaca cheese, avo and dynamite stick-hot hot sauce.

On our second full day in Zurich, our fuzzy senses gained more clarity. We ate stale croissants and yogurt leftovers from our Air Canada breakfast with lattes as expensive as champagne. First stop was a flea market on Helvetiaplatz (*remember my mention of every street name being 25+ letters long?)—-it was curio overload: trombones, boomerangs, dinosaur figurines, bird cages, neon signs, Turkish rugs, army jackets—-I didn’t look too closely knowing we hadn’t packed space in our roller bags. We lost count of the shisha lounges and falafel joints as we walked from Banhofstrasse (Millionaire Mile) to Limmatquai (a riverside boulevard known for its row of bougie 17th century houses). The lake was already buzzing with sailors in Speedos and peculiar car-like boats.

The city was already thumping and vibrating as The Street Parade had begun. This is the largest techno street party IN THE WORLD. Kim and I were sure to walk in the total opposite direction but enjoyed the sneak preview of techno parade goers in all their finery: leather, lace, lame, fishnets, boxing robes, angel wings, glitter, inflatables. It was an education! Everyone had a beer or pink gin or some sort of Jesus juice in hand.

We followed the River Limmat to Lowenbrau’s headquarters, making a slow beeline to the Freitag flagship store which is part museum and 100% retail + recycled wonderland. The store’s shipping containers are stacked nine high offering a primo view of the urban surf park and it’s pseudo waves below. I found my ultimate take-home—a Freitag travel journal made from a truck tarp. Priceless and practical!

In a greenspace off Josefstrasse, we parked ourselves on a bench with beer and braided pretzels. Hammocks were strung between trees. Players patiently waited for a cut-throat match on the perma ping pong tables. The less active sipped neon Aperol spritzes with dogs at their feet. And, on the soundtrack: Kenny Rogers. That guy gets around.

Tracing the Limmat back to 25hours we were amazed by the swimmers and tubers riding the current like Crush (the sea turtle) from Finding Nemo. This free river taxi of sorts allows commuters to jump in and float to their downstream destination with a dry bag slung over their shoulder! Their are dozens of “badis” (swimming holes) along the river with change houses, loungers and piers sardined with sunbathers. A constant flotilla of swimmers ride the current to a ladder and start all over again in.

Mesmerized by it all, Kim and I settled in to watch amateur divers leap off the bridges into the bottle green water below before scaling their way back for another go.

Other sections of the river were dedicated to slalom kayak competitions (with permanent race markers suspended along the route) and water polo. The river promenade was endlessly entertaining and the daredevil divers consumed a good part of our day as we watched them fearlessly plunge from the railway bridge.

Back at our posh 25hours basecamp we cashed in on our freebie highballs at Cinchona (another part of the guest experience): basil and gin (me) and Paloma + mezcal (Kim).

It was a fast and furious 48+ hours in Zurich but I think we took a good, timely bite out of it. And in commemoration of that awesome time I came home with a new Swatch!

Did you know that Switzerland’s flag is square? There are only two square flags in the world—the other belongs to Vatican City. Have you been to Zurich? What did you do? Did/do you own a Swatch?