21 Comments
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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

I can't be the only person to scroll back up to the turtle pyramid trouser shot. Come on now, 'fess up.

Lying down in faux shame laughing.

Loved this piece so much.

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Eva Lydon 🌿's avatar

Ha ha! Yup, I did exactly that! 😂

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Jules Torti's avatar

Thank you, Danusia! I love that you revisited the photo---and shamelessly admitted it! You are not alone.

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Shannon Fritz's avatar

Thank you for this, I feel like I got a very important education here! 🚽 🐢

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Jules Torti's avatar

Miami, Chicago, Squarter, Seater. It's simple, yet vital! I'm glad I could set you up for success, Shannon!

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Susan Sloan's avatar

Once I was being driven across Nairobi from one airport to the other for about 3 hours (traffic is that bad). Our driver entertained us with Kenny Rogers all the way. He seemed impressed that two American ladies of a certain age knew all the words to every song. We ended up serenading the other drivers stuck in traffic around us. Joy all around.

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Jules Torti's avatar

Susan, that is a solid gold memory---thank you for taking a moment to share it. I did see Kenny Rogers in concert when I was 8 or so. My dad wasn't feeling well so I went with my mom. Otherwise I'd have to totally embarrass myself and admit that my first concert was Vanilla Ice!

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Ingrid Haring-Mendes's avatar

Haha! I remember listening to Kenny Rogers on repeat on our way home from school everyday! Our driver loved him!

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Jules Torti's avatar

In my dad's car it was Kenny Rogers, Tina Turner or Bruce Springsteen on the cassette tapes. With my mom: Pavarotti, Liberace. Kept us worldly and semi-cultured.

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Sweet Serenity's avatar

I am born in Central Africa - Congo-Kinshasa. I have lived in Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda and I have amazing stories to share. Loved reading your adventures in Africa.

No, I have never eaten fried grasshoppers and thank you for offering :-)

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Jules Torti's avatar

Hi! I volunteered at a Congo chimp sanctuary (in Lubumbashi) a few life chapters ago (2009)--there were no grasshoppers on offer but I had the best Croque Monsieurs + frog legs ever. And a "farmer's pate" that I still think about! The goat testicles simmered in garlic are something I try not to dwell on! Also, there was a "human egg sandwich" which was clearly a typo! I'm going to bounce over to your site, Sweet Serenity, because my memories of Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda are the sweetest and I'd love to read yours.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

😄😄 There is SO MUCH to unpack here!! I'm probably going to drop multiple comments in the order I read lol.

First of all, I've never seen anyone try to spell zhuzh. I never expected this spelling but oddly enough I knew exactly what you were saying 😁

And hell to the NO on grasshoppers wrapped in homework. I'd rather just eat the homework, thanks.

I giggled over Kenny Rogers. Funny how different countries adopt different celebrity gods. In Jamaica it was Celine Dion. They can't get enough of her and it's not unheard of to hear her blasting out of a 20-foot speaker stack in the middle of the street 🤣

I'm a little miffed that I wasn't gifted with a turtle circus in all my years of travel. Wtf?

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Jules Torti's avatar

Hi Kristi! Zhuzh I can spell, however, rhythm will forever baffle me. Celine had a lot of airtime in Cairo too but if it came down to a clear winner, I'd say Kenny. I remember seeing Celine EONS ago and she asked the audience to "Snap their hands and clap their fingers."

As for the grasshoppers + homework---maybe this is how the "dog ate my homework" expression came about? Maybe the dog was eating the grasshoppers wrapped up in the homework?

I hope you do have turtles in your future and thanks for commenting here. I always love your raw reactions!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

And as soon as you get rhythm down, they bring in algorithm which defies all laws 😁

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Ingrid Haring-Mendes's avatar

I've eaten flying termites, but never got round to trying fried grasshopper!

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Jules Torti's avatar

They taste like crispy chicken wing skin, I swear. I did have termites in...Belize? They weren't flying though and they tasted like eggs. What were your termite tasting notes, Ingrid?

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Ingrid Haring-Mendes's avatar

The closest taste I can think of is maybe roasted peanuts or cashews.

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Pablo Naboso's avatar

Thank you. Nice read and I can relate to some of the things that surprised you. I am making my first African experience in Gambia, Senegal and Cape Verde and in the effect started writing on Substack too.

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Jules Torti's avatar

I'd love to experience that area you are exploring! Way back in 2009, I credit Uganda and the Congo for the genesis of my original blog on Wordpress. The material falls out of the trees in Africa! I look forward to following you around there, Pablo!

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Nicki Jane's avatar

Loved this! I encountered the squarter (or squat) toilet in China and there were no seaters to be found!! And not nearly as clean as yours. Many Chinese were fond of flushing BEFORE doing their business not after 🤢

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Jules Torti's avatar

I know of these China squarters that you speak of! We stayed at a hotel in Beijing that had one of those deluxe toilets with more features than a car. Heated seat even. I'm surprised it didn't brew a cup of tea. That's when things became too warm, weird and comfortable! Thanks for reading, Nicki!

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